Tarantino's CASINO DEL REY

Starring: Pierce Brosnan (James Bond), Bruce Willis (El Numero), Uma Thurman (Vesper Lynd), Samuel L. Jackson (Felix Leiter), Harvey Keitel (M), Rosanna Arquette (Miss Moneypenny), Joe Pesci (Q), Peter Greene (Z), Tim Roth (Bellhop), Christopher Walken (Andrew Bond)...

Harvey Keitel as M

A small Mexican town Del Rey becomes a scene for a violent bloodshed drama of espionage when the KGB paymaster, a big-time American gangster called El Numero (Bruce Willis), turns up in the local casino for a big game. Having squandered the KGB funds in a bogus bookie joint, El Numero intends to hide in Mexico for awhile, win the money back, and save face in the eyes of his superiors. However, his plans become discovered by CIA, the head of which, known as M (Harvey Keitel), sends his best field agent - OO7 (Pierce Brosnan) - to defeat the gangster on the green beige and destroy his reputation. Bond's back-up team are his colleague Felix Leiter (Samuel L. Jackson) and a wireless operator called Vesper Lynd (Uma Thurman).

Samuel L. Jackson
as Felix Leiter

Unfortunately, all the efforts of CIA to keep this unusual mission clandestine turn vain when OO7 gets exposed to the opposition by Head of station Z (Peter Greene) - a homosexual blackmailed by El Numero. James Bond becomes a proverbial sitting duck: in the hotel, where he's under constant surveillance by a stupid looking bellhop (Tim Roth), as well as in the streets, being assaulted by a formidable knife-thrower (Danny Trejo) and a mysterious guitarist with a machinegun disguised as a guitar-case (Enrique Iglesias). Nevertheless, Bond stays invincible to the knives and bullets, and, most important, to the cards of El Numero. Having nearly lost the last dime, OO7 turns the tables (figuratively) and wins the game.

His back to the wall, El Numero dares a desperate try: he kidnaps Bond's girl - Vesper Lynd - and brings her to his villa, luring OO7 right into the trap. Tarantino in his element, there follows a most brutal torture scene ever seen on the screen. Trying to get the money back, El Numero beats the hell out of OO7, but, finding his efforts to be fruitless, he cuts Bond's ear and then decides to do away with him altogether. But at this moment, vengeful and enraged Head of station Z penetrates the villa in order to get even with his blackmailer, as well as to sack Bond's money. Z takes El Numero to an adjacent room, leaving Bond under the watchful eye of his henchman - a weird-looking creature wearing a black leather mask.

Uma Thurman
as Vesper Lynd

Luckily, at this moment, Vesper Lynd manages to free herself, grab a samurai sword (accidentally, lying nearby) and do a way with all the abusers, turning the villa into bloodbath.

The end of the film looks so nicely idyllic, in contrast to the whole 2-hour inconceivable non-stoppable violence: convalescent James Bond (the ear patched up), lying on the beach of an azure sea, gives Vesper Lynd a foot massage.

P.S. The Bond fans will be pleased to see none other than Christopher Walken in an episodic role. In CASINO DEL REY, Mr. Walken plays OO7's father - Andrew Bond, who got killed in mountains when the boy was only six. Father comes to grown-up OO7 in his dream, reminding him of the family relic, a Rolex oyster perpetual, which Andrew got from his father and passed it to young James before setting out for his fateful mountain climb.

P.P.S. The audience will also be pleased to see Joe Pesci (with his well-known and well-mannered actor style) as old Q. Here is an excerpt from the Q branch scene. WARNING! Abusive words!

Joe Pesci as Q

Q: Tell me, OO7, have I got a sign on my back that says, 'OO7 is allowed to return all the fuckin' equipment in a trashy condition'? (points at his back) Have I got it or not, you fuckin' prick?
Bond: Wait, Q...
Q: Then maybe it's on the fuckin' door of my lab? Or is it my fuckin eyes that see nothin'?
Bond: Now look, Q... (smiling)
Q: Why the fuck are you smiling, you fuckin' moron? You think it's funny? Huh?! You think it's fuckin' funny? I never joke about my fuckin' work, wiseguy!
Bond: Why, no, Q! I'm being totally serious...
Q: Then why the fuck did your Aston-fuckin-Martin look like a perforated toaster taken right out of a coal furnance last time? You're driving your sluts down your fuckin' Riviera, and then I'm to fix your old banger? Next time, when you've rocked another broad in the back seat, don't forget to clean up the fuckin' upholstery, you dizzy motherfucker.

(с) 2004 June 7th, Vlad Pavlov